<![CDATA[HEART CENTRED THERAPY - Blog]]>Thu, 19 Feb 2026 15:58:18 -0800Weebly<![CDATA[Befriending your feelings]]>Mon, 02 Dec 2019 11:16:31 GMThttps://www.kpotter.co.uk/blog/befriending-your-feelings'WHAT YOU RESIST PERSISTS’
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You may have heard this saying time and time again but what does it really mean?

  • In a nutshell, when you move towards your feelings and allow them to be there they lose their power.
  • This may sound counterintuitive; however, by no longer resisting what is already present, your fears can no longer ‘hijack’ you.
Why do we have feelings?

  • Your feelings enable you to experience your thoughts by creating physical and emotional sensations in the body.
  • Your feelings are your ‘compass’, guiding your decisions, choices and behaviours.
  • Your feelings connect you to others and to the heart of life. Without them we would be like robots.

What can I do to reduce my unpleasant feelings of anxiety, low mood, fear, anger…?

  • Firstly acknowledge that there is nothing that needs to be fixed about you. Your emotions and physical sensations are simply signals from your body letting you know what might no longer be helping you or what might need your attention.
  • By embracing your feelings with an attitude of curiosity and approval you give your body the space to bring things back into balance.
  • Let go of trying to feel better. By constantly moving away and suppressing pain we encourage more suffering. Instead try following the steps below:

  1. Acknowledge what you are feeling in this moment. For instance, you might say ‘anger’.
  2. Next, close your eyes and sink into that signature feeling of ‘anger’.
  3. Gently observe the sensations in your body of this signature feeling whilst breathing in and out of your nose, without any unnecessary pauses.
  4. Notice where you feel the sensations of this particular feeling most intensely in your body and bring your focus of attention to that part of your body.
  5. On your next outbreath, breathe into that part of your body and send the feeling sensation a message that you are completely present with it and approve of it being there.
  6. By imagining the breath flowing in and out of this area you support yourself to remain present with the sensations without trying to change them.
  7. As you stay present with the feelings you may notice them become more intense at first. This is natural. As best you can continue to be with the sensationa and describe them to yourself either mentally or out loud. For instance, are they associated with any colours or images, do they feel gas like or solid?
  8. You may notice that in time your sensations begin to shift. If this happens ask yourself how the feelings are changing and what they are changing into. For instance, initially you may have felt anger, which might have felt like hot coals burning in your chest and throat. Then the sensations could have shifted into a feeling of sadness, which may have felt like a slow moving black gas around your heart area.  Continue to notice if the feelings are associated with any colours, images or textures and always come back to the body if your mind gets distracted.
  9. If thoughts come up, just notice them and let them be there and come back to the sensations in the body.
  10. To help yourself feel supported throughout this process you can mentally repeat yourself ‘I am completely here with you now’.
  11. Remain attentive, curious and focused on how you feel until you experience a shift and some relief. Then expand on that feeling of relief, again noticing what it feels like for you to experience relief in your body.
  12. Then slowly open your eyes and thank yourself for being with your emotions and therefore fully with yourself.
 
 
 
NB: You can do this for positive emotional states too. 
]]><![CDATA[New Year's resolutions]]>Mon, 08 Jan 2018 08:00:00 GMThttps://www.kpotter.co.uk/blog/new-years-resolutions6927258 As human beings, our desire for growth is critical to our overall sense of wellbeing and fulfilment. This could at least in part explain why we tend to continue to make common new year’s resolutions such as, to wake up earlier, or go to the gym, in the full knowledge that we are likely to break these within the month. 


We can consciously make the decision to make lasting changes to our lives for the better. However, if our subconscious is not on board, we will almost certainly fall at the first hurdle. It has been touted by many cognitive neuroscientists that our subconscious dictates our emotions, decision making and behaviour at least 95% of the time. This means that the vast majority of our choices and actions are out of our conscious awareness, leaving us vulnerable to self-sabotage and self-defeating behaviours. You can think of your subconscious as the more primitive part of your brain, primarily run by emotions. Consultant Psychiatrist Steve Peters calls it the ‘chimp’ and explains that willpower alone will never get your chimp onside. For instance, he explains that if you consciously decide to make running a daily part of your morning routine, you need to get to know how your chimp will feel about this. At first your chimp may feel excited to go along with this resolution as it feels enthused by the feeling of being fit. However, when the time comes and it is raining and cold outside, the chimp may throw a tantrum and decide that it feels happier and safer under the warm duvet. 


From this we can see that relying on our enthusiasm and drive to keep a habit going is not enough. Professor Steve Peters recommends that to overcome this you need to remind yourself why you are committed to change rather than relying on the fickleness of your motivation to pull you through. Other ways to increase your chances of lasting change include, having clear visual reminders of the benefits of your resolutions; asking others to commit to certain changes with you so you can hold each other accountable and starting with small, consistent behaviour changes at first so as not to overwhelm your chimp!


Most importantly, avoid beating yourself up for not perfectly sticking to your resolutions. A critical mind causes stress in the body and will lead to further unhealthy behaviours. Instead, start each day afresh, learn from what did not work before and acknowledge the progress you have made so far.


Reference: The Chimp Paradox by Prof. Steve Peters 

]]><![CDATA[Mindfulness/Mention in Refinary29]]>Fri, 25 Aug 2017 07:00:00 GMThttps://www.kpotter.co.uk/blog/mindfulnessmention-in-refinary29"...Not only do we have to have a career, keep our relationships intact, work out regularly, eat healthily, listen to podcasts, finish that dreaded colouring book and watch 58 new shows on Netflix – we now have to ensure we are mindful in the process. It’s exhausting. And more worryingly, it’s an added pressure that many of us just don’t need. “Stress can often be a result of a tendency towards perfectionism and a fear of failure. If we start to use our ability to be mindful throughout the day as another way of gauging our success as a human, we could be setting ourselves up for more criticism and self-loathing,” psychologist Dr. Kate Potter explains." ​
​https://www.refinery29.uk/anxiety-mindfulness-meditation]]>